Friday, May 14, 2010

About the Couple

Emily (written by Tanner)

Word to the wise: don't mess with Emily -- she was born in Texas and lived there for the first three years of her life. Despite being way cooler than me, Emily has always exhibited a healthy amount of nerd. In childhood -- unprovoked by teacher or parent -- she wrote reports on dolphins and wolves and directed plays involving her sisters and defenseless neighborhood children. In her younger years, Emily also developed an unhealthy crush on Paul McCartney.

At Coe College, Emily majored in theatre, worked in the writing center, and minored in squirrelology. Since graduating in 2006, Emily has worked her way up the corporate ladder of Half Price Books, where she currently works as the assistant manager. She's also acted in plays for numerous Twin Cities theatre companies and worked at KFAI radio as a news host and reporter. She also sings in the band The Steamboat Kings with her cousin Collin.

In her spare time, Emily is usually doing one of the following: napping, checkin' facebook, squeezing Henry le Cat, reading, pretending she lives in a different time period, and being cute. She hates spiders and fart jokes. Emily's heroes are Paul McCartney, Kate Winslet, Judy Garland, and Clara Bow.

Tanner (written by Emily)

Tanner grew up in Charles City, Iowa -- "America's Hometown." He likes to pretend that his childhood was very difficult, what with living out on a farm and being the youngest of three. But his hilarious family stories, success in high school theater, and being voted Prom King tell a slightly different story.

He also attended Coe College, where he received his BA in English. He was involved in the college's writing center and performed in several plays. Tanner studied abroad in Bangor, Wales in the fall of his junior year. Now, Tanner enjoys many things that 65 year-olds enjoy: drinking scotch, reading the New Yorker, smoking cigars, eating sandwiches, going on walks, listening to baseball on the radio, and wearing flannel. He continues to read and write often, and in the past three years he has worked in Minneapolis schools, on a political campaign, and now for a transportation consulting firm.

Tanner aspires to be a combination of Neil LaBute, Edward R. Murrow, Paul Rudd, David Sedaris, and Jon Stewart. I like him just the way he is.

How They Met (by Henry)

In 2003, Tanner entered Coe where Emily was in her sophomore year. They worked together in the writing center and in various theatre productions and became friends. A couple years later, after Emily had returned from a semester abroad in London and before Tanner was about to depart for a semester in Wales, they started to feel they could be...more than friends!?!?! But Tanner was in the UK for four months!!! Not only would they be separated by an ocean, but they also didn't know if the other reciprocated the crush! Oh, what were they to do??? They did the only thing mature adults do when it comes to love: have a mutual friend surreptitiously find out.

Knowing the affection was mutual, they kept up their transcontinental correspondence until December, when Tanner returned to the US and they could go on their *gasp* first date. They went to the Vintage in St. Paul and then to Emily's parents' house (named one of the Twin Cities' most romantic spots by MN Monthly) and watched one of Tanner's favorite flicks, Adaptation. Surprisingly, Emily didn't give up on the whole idea right then and there. They stayed up late into the night, talking, drinking wine, and yes, sharing their first kiss.

The next most significant event in their relationship occurred in June 2008, when they adopted me, their beloved little kitty, Henry. Since adopting me, they've taken their personification of me to unhealthy and embarrassing levels. I mean, seriously, like I'm writing this and posting it to the blog? What will they have me doing next, writing their Christmas card? Could they be more predictable or pathetic? I'm going to go lick myself. Kthanxbai!


  1. Fantastic! Henry has surprisingly wonderful grammar.

  2. Henry is fastidious about two things and two things only: grammar and the cleanliness of his nether region.